Let’s Talk Trans

This is long and in-depth.
Read on my fellow truth seekers, read on!

This is a “private message” I feel compelled to share.
I was blocked by two people today. One that I am unveiling our entire discussion in this post and the other deleted my comments and then deleted me when I called him out on it.

If we cannot learn to have uncomfortable conversations, we are doomed!

This is one of the hardest discussions I have initiated in my life. I did so in hopes of reaching a common ground, and I thought we were headed in that direction; I was astoundingly mistaken.

I am posting this because I am tired of closed-door conversations. I am posting this because Ethan said he wanted to use our discussion for a book he is writing and I feel that if he can use it, so can I.
I am posting this in hopes of getting people to speak up instead of complaining about passed legislation in their rearview.
This is an entire conversation with my trans friend.
I will begin with how it ended-

My last message never went through.
To say this upsets me is an understatement.
He stated that he was blacklisted by the trans community when providing the fact that bottom surgery is usually regretted, he was incredibly upset by the outcome of his outspokenness.
I questioned him about children receiving hormones and surgery, and he blocked me.
The hypocrisy is out of this world, and to neglect continued debate and discourse on this subject is frightening!
Please! Can we discuss this further so that Trans of all ages get the care and respect they deserve and need and so that our influential youth do not fall victim to trends that might literally scar them for life.
Is this honestly asking too much?


Full conversation-

I want to know your honest perspective on what I posted today, and my other thoughts I am presenting you with if you are up to sharing it with me. I value your opinion and hope to reach a logical understanding out of all this chaos.
I do not think I am out of bounds with anything I have written or think. Still, I am up to hearing out your reasoning if you believe that I have.
This is what I wrote-
“Maybe, just maybe, they want to have a family with a biological woman, maybe they don’t like being lied to, maybe they don’t apprectiate being called weak for their sexuality just like people don’t like being called weak for being trans (never did they mention these men actually calling them weak, these men either don’t approach or are upset once they find out they are biological males), and there is no surgery or hormone that will make a man a biological female, so they are playing dress up as a woman, no matter how much people want to bend reality for feelings; that doesn’t mean they are not a transwoman, though there is a significant difference.
I respect trans people on a level enough to call them by the sex pronoun of him/her he/she, but I refuse to change the English language (the plethora of newly made up pronouns) or speak to them in the third person (grammar is imperative for context), I also do not respect someone who isn’t forthcoming about who they truly are (your past, present, and foreseeable future), and lastly I do not respect someone putting another down, shaming, or bullying them for their sexual preference as is happening in this video. Heterosexual males are not transphobic or weak because they do not want to be with a transwoman. That is absolute poppycock (pun not intended).”
Moreover, I am at my wits end with the agenda of Leftists pushing trans (and gay) onto children and forcing everyone to comply with their way of life.
I respect everyone being able to live in a way that makes them happy but feel it is now taking a turn for the worst.
I think that the agenda is manipulating children.
I was a “tomboy” when young and feel my family would have had me on meds due to today’s standards. I would cry when they tried to make me wear dresses. I always played in the mud; I always played with boys, etc. I never thought of myself as one sex or the other (meaning sexualized). I don’t think any child ever has until now.
Now we have trans being taught in schools as young as kindergarten-
There are now prosthetic penises for trans female to male children-
This kid just opened a Drag club for children in N.Y.-
This child is also a drag queen, and MSM promotes “her” heavily-
I question how much their parents have influenced this behavior. Drag Queens have always been over-sexualized and to have a child promote this behavior does not seem natural, it seems more of nurturing to me.
History of LGBT I am all for. Teach about Harvey Milk and the likes but do not assume anyone’s gender or sexuality for the sake of a cause. This is proof of an agenda and has indoctrination written all over it in my opinion.
My issue is not with those that are genuinely trans but with the manipulation of young minds.
A UCLA study finds that 27% of youth are non conforming-
This number is exponential by historical standards, even when accounting for ancient Greece.
I genuinely feel we are warping the minds of the young just to appease what was once a small percentage of the population.
I believe that these children who are in fact not trans or gay will grow up with mental issues if they are lucky and worse if they are given the hormones and operations before they have a mind developed enough to know who they indeed are. Our brains do not fully develop until we are in our mid-twenties. To give a child hormone blockers and operations at increasingly younger ages is child abuse in my opinion.
Though, Leftist academia teaches otherwise-
Quote from the article-
 “Over the past five years, it has become increasingly common for families with young children to request advice about the best way to approach their gender non-conforming child. Children as young as 18 months old have articulated information about their gender identity and gender expression preferences. Most parents are at a loss as to how to best help their child and may seek the advice of a professional; commonly a psychiatrist or pediatrician. At this stage of development, no medical intervention is warranted or necessary. For young children, decisions must be made to create safe environments that promote healthy growth and development. For some children, this may include a social transition – changing of external appearance (clothing, hairstyle) and possibly name and pronouns to match one’s internal gender.”
I beg the question- why over the past five years? Could it be because the trans “movement” implemented on young minds? Where once these children would have never questioned their sexuality prior?
The percentage of trans adults wanting reassignment surgeries back to their original sex is unknown but high.
“At present, there are no statistics regarding gender reversal surgeries in the UK.” There isn’t in the US or Canada either. Is this because it would be transphobic to do such a study?- http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gender-reversal-surgery-demand-rise-assignment-men-women-trans-a7980416.html
But leftist MSM sites like HuffPo will paint a different picture- https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/myths-about-transition-regrets_b_6160626.html
(If you follow the links to the studies this article is twisting them to meet their agenda)
This is a video by the President of the American College of Pediatricians, Michelle Cretella- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJAKQKPD5UI
A more in-depth conversation with her- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOniPhuyXeY
I am more willing to consider those born hermaphrodites, and males born with extra X chromosomes being transgender in a sense other than just a mental disorder (though I still think it is). But females transitioning to males does not make biological sense to me. They do not have a Y chromosome and never will. I do feel it is a mental disorder without question (I do not think they should be shamed or unable to transition because of this). I hope my opinion does not offend you. If you can provide me with a logical argument, I will be more than willing to consider it.
I feel there is a massive discrepancy between fashion and biological sex, between personality and biological sex.
I feel that actual trans are not being treated properly or getting the credit and attention they deserve because of the fad being creating around this subject. It is “trendy” to be trans, non-conforming, bi, gay, etc. Since this agenda/movement/indoctrination whatever you want to call it has catapulted, trans people muddled in and beneath these people that are misguided.
Real research, help, and guidance cannot be reached with this agenda at play. Those masquerading (they may not realize this until it is too late) and those encouraging (when their child is in fact not trans) are doing a complete disservice to those who are suffering from trans issues. And statistics prove they are afflicted with a suicide rate that is staggering.
Why are people so willing to dismiss this matter as if it is not one?  Why are they normalizing it and claiming that women can, in fact, be a biological man and men can be biological women? Why are they insisting we need to change the English language to suit all of their pronouns (You can now serve jail time and fines in Ca. and Canada if you do not use the pronoun of a person’s choosing, and there are many). Why if someone does not want to have sex or be in a relationship with someone who is trans does it automatically make them transphobic and therefore a bigot and xenophobe. Why are headlines saying that a man gave birth to a child (A trans man gave birth, meaning that they are in fact a biological woman)?
I know you will be sincere and unbiased in your response to this and that is why I chose to ask you out of all of my trans friends.
Everyone else I know has pitchforks in hand; two people already blocked me because of my post.
There is so much more I could write on this, but I will suppress since I have already written so much.
Does any of this bother you on a level that it bothers me? Or do you feel I am out of line and hateful for asking you these questions?
WATCH: Transgender Women: Men Won’t Date Us Because They’re Insecure And Weak
On Thursday, Mic, an American internet and media company that caters to millennials, released a video depicting trans women discussing their travails; but Mic, tweeting about the video, insisted that heterosexual males are insecure about being attracted to trans women, a perspective articulated b
I posted this question a few weeks ago and never received any responses but was unfriended by 6 people immediately after.
“Watching this interview and have an honest question. How can someone be transgender and non-binary? Wouldn’t a switch to the opposite gender mean they are the other gender and therefore not non-binary?”
I hope you can enlighten me on this as well. ❤
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO SAY!” Jordan Peterson DESTROY Transgender Professor
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO SAY!” Jordan Peterson DESTROY Transgender Professor Subscribe to 50 Stars: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfU0s7hrfgKs11YWUwSimAyoutube.com
Also, How what do you think about the conversation in the Dr. Peteron video above?
Hi hi hi! First, I want to share that I have some things I need to take care of today that haven’t been set up yet so I may not be around for a while – but I love that you’re thinking about this and sharing your thoughts – I do have much to say on the matter, and no, I don’t think anything you said is offensive – and I do know that I can add something to the information to help bridge the gap in understanding on many of the points you touched on… and after I send it to you privately, if you’d like, I’m willing to post it as a comment for others to read as a “voice” from the trans spectrum – although, after you read my response you’ll understand why “trans” is only a term I use when interfacing with people.  I will connect soon my friend! No pitchforks here! Just lemon ginger kombucha!! 😀 ❤ ❤
I’m working on a thoughtful response for you in MS word, would you like me to email it to you rather than send it here? It may be easier to read? Let me know!
Actually this is great that you brought this up because this is a chapter in my book, and I have not had the drive to write or expand much because I write best when I am writing FOR someone, so you asking this question is helping me as well haha how cool! So, if it takes me a bit to get it to you – just know I’m making sure it’s worthy of being presented publicly so that it presents a clear message. I won’t take more than a couple days to get it to you. I won’t be a perfectionist, haha but I will make sure it’s clear 😀 this is something that I will actually post on my own page as a note, too. This is the subject that I have not had the desire to address, but now seems like the time!
This is awesome! I knew you were the right person to ask. Please take your time. ❤
awesome awesome awesome!! I’m glad I can help. This is something I’ve wanted to share and help people understand for a long time. It’s not even all that complex, but to move people out of their emotions… to get the message… sheesh lol
Emotions are definitely at play from both trans and non trans. I think this is where we fall apart and aren’t able to have opwn honest discussions. I am so grateful you are taking the time to write about this. Especially in book format. People are too afraid to ask and peole are too defensive.
It’s true… and that’s what makes it so tough for communication to happen… many trans people expect absolute understanding but are not willing to explain or even try to share their experiences, and it’s considered inappropriate to ask questions so then what is anyone supposed to do?? What CAN anyone do?? I’m glad i gained the perspective to be able to address this subject, I can’t imagine it otherwise… it all makes so much sense to me now from where I sit! I was able to complete much of my writing today, right off the bat I had 6 or 7 different subjects I outlined and I’ll polish them up next!
Nice! I am very interested to hear if you think that men can become biological women and vice versa. That is the one area I definitely cannot wrap my head around.
Well, in short, gender is both social and physical. I personally knew I was male from the time I was 3 years old and never once was told I couldn’t be, so I didn’t grow up thinking that gender is only physical. I knew I was a boy but I had a girl’s body, but that didn’t mean anything to me. Unlike most other trans people I’ve never hated my body nor have I ever thought it determined my identity. So I never hated my female body and I didn’t long for a male body. I was just content to transition and live my life the way that felt natural to me – as a male. I don’t think that it matters that trans people will never have an “out-of-the-womb” male or female body (the only terms I can think of to describe it) – I think that point is not relevant to the issue at large. Although, when that question is brought up it’s usually to discredit a person’s gender identity which is why trans people don’t like hearing that they’ll never be the biological sex they identify with. The social roles of male and female are social constructs and everyone has an innate identification. Many people identify with the social role that matches their biology, but not everyone does. So nobody can “become” the opposite gender at a fundamental level – but that’s not a problem at least in my eyes. I don’t see that anyone needs to in order to live as the gender they identify with. Couple that with the fact that everyone is creating their reality and experiences. You’ll notice that most of the trans world feels victimized yet I can say i’ve never had a bad experience with transitioning and if there are people who don’t support me I don’t know about it. But I don’t create that experience, it never occurred to me that I would be a victim for transitioning. I just did it because it felt correct.
Many trans people who argue that they are no different from other people of the same gender don’t really believe they become the other gender biologically as in chromosomes, but they are not able to accept their birth sex, even on a fundamental level – many consider it a mistake or a birth defect – so that’s why they argue for the point of being “just like every other male/female” because they cannot accept that they have the opposite anatomy. That’s because for most people, the anatomy and physical body IS important to them… to me, it’s not. I transitioned by taking hormones but no surgery. I also stopped taking testosterone, not because i think there’s anything wrong with it but after ten years my entire identity and relationship to gender disappeared. I wasn’t born with much of a sexuality either. No sexual attractions to people based on physicality so that has a lot to do with why I don’t have any stock in the physical body.. .I dont see people as potential partners. There’s just nothing there for me. I would imagine that if I did have a sexuality, I would care about my physical body parts “being male” but even in my relationships that was never an issue… the thing is, when sexuality is removed from the human experience, (and Im not saying its good or bad, it just happens to be my reality) all importance in the body just falls away. I chose to use my knowledge and tools to shrink my chest through focus and energy work rather than have surgery because I don’t believe I should disrupt my body’s electrical system, which surgery does that. Wanting a flat chest, for me, has to do with convenience based on the lifestyle i live and not identity. But I shrunk it from a C to an A, so I don’t have an issue there anymore.  But now i could live in any body – male or female – i wouldnt care which. But thats because I have spent many many years dedicated to focusing my energy and attention on developing my mind, and tapping into the universal consciousness aka the mind of God, and being in that state of higher consciousness, creating what’s interesting to me, experiences, etc. and just letting all pieces of my identity fall away… I personally don’t identify as anything. Not even non-binary. See, there’s a difference between identifying as non-binary – and having no gender identity. A person who is non-binary has a gender identity and that identity IS non-binary. If you asked them to live as male, or live as female, they would object. I have no gender identity and don’t have a preference for what others perceive me to be, nor do I think of myself as “neither” gender. I don’t think of myself as “both” genders, either. I have zero investment in an identity. If I had to live as female or male I wouldn’t care. Some people think I’m gay because I act really feminine but I just act as myself… I always have. when i transitioned i refused to change my behavior. So I went from being seen as a “butch lesbian” to a “feminine male” which is weird, but it’s all in society’s perception… I didn’t change my behavior. I didn’t see a need to. Some people think I’m a man who wants to be a woman. I’ve had people ask me if I go by “he” or “she” and I just say it doesn’t matter. I don’t even have a need to tell them that I was born female but transitioned to male… I just let people think whatever they want… when I transitioned I discovered the illusory nature of gender as a whole, both male and female, the divisive aspect of it is all a construct… I don’t fit into either role, and so I just do what I feel is important to me and my life… the idea of any of us being one gender or the other is a polarized experience. Physically yes there are differences, but through my transition I saw that both genders are conditioned from birth to behave differently even in ways they’re not aware of. People think they treat men and women equally but they don’t. And I don’t mean on a big level, I mean as simple as greeting someone. Or saying goodbye. Or inviting someone over. These situations are inherently different. And it’s hidden – but when I transitioned I got to experience being conditioned by society to “be male” and it was the same conditioning I got as a kid to “be female” and so I just realized none of it matters because I am not my body… hell, I never even knew I had a hole in my body (vagina) until i was 16 and I “KNEW” females had them but I have always been somewhat detached from residing in the physical body for some reason. Which is why I see things a bit differently. I don’t understand what it is to want to date people or marry someone or have kids or have a long term partner sexually, so that not driving me makes a huge huge difference… but, I have had relationships based on emotional attraction, mostly with straight women – because I was always seen as male. There are people in this world who aren’t attracted to only specific genitalia and if they love someone they love them regardless. I’ve always had that. But there are people who ARE specifically attracted to specific genitalia, and so that can’t be changed… and I dont understand why trans people wouldnt be forthcoming with someone they’re dating, because that matters. Even trans people have attraction preferences. But that also goes back to most people being unable to accept their birth sex as part of them, so they expect to be accepted as 100% male or female when they forget that the rest of the world has genitalia preferences… there’s no reason someone can’t accept their birth sex and still transition and be accepted fully as that gender they transition to… gender is not just anatomy… but when you are dealing with people who cant accept the fact that they have specific genitalia, and want to deny that it exists, that’s rooted in being unhappy with who they are. I can say from experience that I’ve always been accepted as male and I believe it’s because I never had any resistance to my physical body. People’s self conscious thoughts are projected into their environment and they create people who reflect that back to them – in the form of people who don’t accept them for who they are. Everyone does this in some form, early on, or even as adults, it’s not limited to gender… but it is confusing when you hear what trans people say and what they do conflicts with what they say… like gender is not physical yet they go get surgery… or they claim non binary but they transition… sometimes people transition and THEN become non binary, but non binary is really a protest against society,.. in my opinion. Its still an identity but its a Fuck You identity, if that makes sense. I can’t speak for others but my experience was an opportunity for me to dissolve identity. I wasn’t female and then I transitioned and realized I’m not male either. Then I dove into my spiritual work and discovered hey, it’s the same for non trans folk too – none of us are our gender or our bodies in any way so who cares what bodies we have?  Those are just my quick thoughts!! Sorry for the long paragraph I forgot to break it up!!
I have a lot to respond with and it will take me a while to do it. Thank you so much for your perspective. Yours is one I can agree with more so than others. ❤
ETHAN-My pleasure completely 🙂
And take your time too!
I’m still writing about this but I wanted to share another tid bit before I forget. I see the point in educating kids about trans people, but not to the degree that I THINK is happening… not because they shouldnt know about it  but because kids want to explore every possibility, and then when more kids explore the possibility that they might be trans, some might very well be – and some may not be – but the problem is this… when you’ve got 80% of the kids exploring their gender identity (nothing wrong with that) it cripples the ability of adults to genuinely notice when a kid is in fact trans and should take hormone blockers… because youve got adults who are not trans making the decision for their kids… the adults dont know what to look for… the thing is, if a kid is trans, and you pay attention, you know when they’re 3 and able to speak. It’s undeniable, but the problem again is that nobody really knows what theyre looking for… theyre running blind. So now youve got a mass amount of kids just experimenting and how do you tell the experimenters from the true trans kids? I can tell, in one conversation I can tell. But most parents and teachers? They haven’t a clue. I recently met my ex girlfriend’s kid – we have been connected since 1998, and her kid is now 13 and is a transguy. I knew when I met the kid. This was before the kid came out to my friend… but that’s just because I have the experience. So really, all tehse parents are not qualified to make a determination of trans or not, no offense to them but they’re clueless.
If a kid really is trans, those hormone blockers are essential to start early. but when it comes to surgery i have to say in 20 years Ive never met a trans person who was happy after bottom surgery. Top surgery yes. It’s freeing. But bottom? no, and that a subject most wont even discuss… you can get blacklisted by the entire lgbtq community for even commenting on it. I know, I did, the people who oppose me the most are from the glbt community and its sad. But… Im over here trying to get people to see that they can be trans and not have to donate a chunk of their leg to sew it to their crotch to be male… really, ive had three relationships with straight women, i was the only female bodied person they were with. they didnt care. there are other ways. and if you are in that kind of relationship they will love what you have and it wont be an issue. it never was for me. So i know its possible. but thats a reflection of my own self love and absence of self hate… toward my body…
Still working on my response and stumbled across this tonight. Thoughts? https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/planned-parenthood-taps-into-sex-change-therapy-for-minors-as-new-revenue-s
Planned Parenthood taps into sex-change ‘therapy’ for minors as new revenue source
The abortion giant offers hormonal ‘therapy’ to children under 18.
They’ve been doing that since way before 2016, even as far back as 2005 it was an option that I had explored, but I think it’s great, because the doctors really can be gatekeepers and are unintentionally keeping people from transitioning because of their personal bias. When there’s a way to get approved for HRT without a letter, it makes life easier. I went in circles for a couple of years before I found a therapist who was willing to give me a letter on the first visit – I refused to share my life with anyone who I didn’t feel had the right to qualify me as male. They didn’t, and I wasn’t going to keep paying money to have to prove myself. because the qualifications they use to determine if someone really is trans – those qualifications are total crap. They dont understand what it means to be trans, so they mistake femininity and masculinity and sexuality for gender… which, if they understood they wouldnt do that. Meaning if you want hormones you must present as the stereotype of that gender. you cant be comfortable with your masculinity if you want female hormones. you cant be comfortable with your femininity if you want male hormones. And if you are born female but are 100% male and 100% attracted to men sexually, they’ll deny you for that too saying you arent “trans enough” – so I am all for what PP is doing. If someone wants to transition in their teens they’ve already suffered enough, probably far too long.
Also, a lot of transguys I know just want to take hormones for a short time to become a little more masculine in appearance, but not take them forever and not have surgery. So this allows them to be fully self expressed. otherwise theyd have to lie to a therapist and play it out just to get on hormones. Some do, especially in the bible belt where doctors dont understand at all. Here in the west coast, many doctors will prescribe HRT on informed consent which means they talk to you about it and make sure you understand whats going to happen to your body and all that, and then you can start. There are a lot of people who want to slip into a gender expression that isn’t fully male or female, and HRT helps them be that self expressed, so having more options that don’t require therapy is important. Therapy for transitioning is a joke.
Some therapists wont even consider giving people a letter unless they hate their body and want surgery, because they dont understand what it is to be trans, so they think trans people hate their body. Many dont. Its an inherent identity, the same as how nobody chooses to like or dislike onions. its just there from birth. It might be suppressed in some people but its not a choice, just like sexuality, although its not the same as sexuality. But these therapists can be ignorant because they havent experienced it themselves so all they have to go on is a textbook definition of what many trans people do, and if you dont fit that stereotype they reject your request. I always tell people who cant get their doctor to go down the informed consent route to find a therapist who is trans, and forget about any other therapist.
HRT is cheap, too. I paid out of pocket $60 twice per year for my T from a highly regarded online pharmacy. Kaiser covered it completely at one point. Through insurance it’s usually $10 or less for a 6 month supply. Needles are super cheap like cents literally 3 cents or something. So the expense is not even an issue.
I also don’t believe that article – especially the end – is the truth, only one person’s experience. We are all creating our experiences and that includes bad service at restaurants and seeming situations of being victimized. So if any women went to PP and were turned down for an ultrasound it was their frequency that generated the experience and they need to own that. We are all 100% responsible for our experiences, and that’s the problem with reading articles online… it’s someone else’s experience filtered through their pain and suffering, usually. That’s my take.
And when I say we are all creating our experiences I dont mean that esoterically or philosophically – its my direct experience and I can identify how I’ve created everything in my life, because I do know how to create anything – and do often – specific creations not just objects or “things” – so to even have a comment on another person’s experience they’re sharing through an article is really just commenting on their experience and not the actual situation… because everyone will experience what is being created through their frequency…
I have to say that I am thoroughly confused by this reply. On the one hand, you say that young people shouldn’t be subjected to hormones if they are in fact not trans. That teaching/pushing the trans agenda on young children, with their malleable minds, is a disservice to those who do suffer from transgender dysphoria (in my response I touch on the more extreme injustice, by a vast majority, of those not trans but merely children with vivid imaginations). I absolutely get your point on that matter.
I, however, do not feel this reply coincides with it.
If these youngsters are now allowed to pop into a Planned Parenthood without proper vetting (your idea of protocol seems to change from necessary to null and void) how many non-trans will be affected by this? I imagine the numbers will be staggering.
So I ask, does it only matter to you when trans are being affected or do misguided youngsters matter to you as well?
I was referring to not giving really young kids like 6 and 7 years old. Anyone older than that will know who they are – PP was talking about teenagers, and I don’t believe in gatekeepers for teenagers. By that time, they know it’s what they want.
Teenagers aren’t going to be misguided by curiosity of exploring, they’ve already done that. I only think parents should wait when their kids are really young. Not everyone who takes hormones has to be trans, either. People who fit between gender stereotypes should have access to them without anyone else’s approval. The problem is trying to determine if a young kid aged 3-7 or so actually identifies as the opposite gender. That’s hard to tell unless you know what to look for. Older than that, and I have no problem because it’s not something that will fade if it’s legit.
You really have to BE trans to get it, which is why I don’t think anyone who isn’t trans is qualified to have an opinion on who is or is not trans (parents, teachers, doctors)
If it’s not happening to a specific person, then it’s just theory and speculation about what might happen, which is driven by fear.
Besides, as with anything, any choices people make are their own frequency – so if someone chooses to take hormones and then changes their mind, that’s their journey. It’s not anyone’s place to make that experience wrong. It’s just another experience in life that will help them see something much deeper within themselves. That’s how I experience everything in life, so if you are looking for agreement that there’s something wrong, even when someone does transition and then change their mind later because it wasn’t really who they are, you are asking the wrong person.
You’re talking about something that I have been involved in, with the “community” of people since high school, so like, 1995. I’ve seen it all. I have been in the groups and have connected with hundreds of other trans people and maybe even thousands over the years… and have been able to follow their lives from young to being in their 40’s and older… the fear that’s being propagated is fueled by hate, and it’s pushed by people who have no idea what it’s like to be trans… take it with a grain of salt.
You honestly believe an eight-year-old knows if they are trans or not? Every single one of them?
I thought I was a lesbian when I was a teen. I am not. I thought I was a boy at ten (since I hadn’t yet discovered my femininity and had issues with my mother) I am not.
Being trans and therefore saying you understand them is one thing, but projecting that on all others is an entirely different matter. Even people who think they are trans at forty change their minds and regret.
To say that only trans understand is illogical based on the fact that all trans are not, in fact, trans at all. Your own use of specifics is, in fact, theory and speculation for all others. There should be fear in this; it is a serious matter.
I love you dearly but feel you are manipulating facts with opinion, feelings, and speculation.
This isn’t a matter of whether a child wants to play with a toy or a truck, wear a dress or pants, or if a teen is feeling inspired to explore their sexuality. It is a matter of life-altering hormones and surgeries at the hands of money-grubbing government subsidies and the enormous annual incomes they receive, not to mention the votes.
This is an incredibly sensitive and crucial subject, and everyone for it is either nonchalant and welcoming it with open arms or, or doing what you are and pretending to be concerned when in fact the only concern you have shown is for the sincerely trans people.
I get your existential theory of finding meaning in this world and dealing with the consequences when we make mistakes. This mistake would be huge. Especially for a misguided child and teen, shit even an adult.
To say that this isn’t at least inappropriate, and at most complete negligent child abuse, is insane.
Yes by 8, absolutely. Most of us knew at age 3. Sexuality is not on the same playing field as gender identity. That changes with hormone fluctuation and puberty. Gender identity does not. I’m not speaking for others without having personal knowledge of their experience. You really have no clue about any of this, and are not willing to listen so I am exiting this relationship… it does not work for me.
Yes, I am willing to listen to you. But you are blatantly ignoring the fact that there are misguided youths that will fall prey. I continue to ask you about your thoughts on them, and you continue to deflect to your knowledge of trans children, in fact, being trans. I do not doubt that. I doubt that every child is treated as a trans is, in fact, trans.
So again I ask you, Do you care about the consequences for those children or only that trans children get the treatment they need?
I definitely feel trans children should get the treatment they need, no question. How we go about that is what I am pressing.
My last message never went through.
This upsets me greatly.
He stated that he was blacklisted by the trans community when stating that bottom surgery is usually regretted, he was greatly upset by that.
I question him about children, and he blacklisted me.
The hypocrisy is out of this world, and to neglect continued debate and discourse on this subject is frightening!
Please! Can we discuss this further so that Trans of all ages get the care and respect they deserve and need and so that our influential youth do not fall victim to trends that might literally scar them for life!
Yours truly,


I wrote this mixtape in one night. Simply because of a dare.

I never knew how far that one little sentence, “Yeah, you can write poetry, but can you put it to a beat?” would take me.
It took five months to record everything I wrote that night.
Five months of love, sweat, and tears. Five months shared with Fredrick Melendez and Mr. Michaelangelo- a.k.a TUFLUV.
I will never forget everything I learned about myself, music, the music industry, heartbreak, loss, struggles deeper than poverty and addiction, soul searching, how bad it hurt to realize I was a fake mess, or how amazing it felt to realize, most of us are; even our heroes!

It is coming upon True Romance’s seven year anniversary.
I want to share these songs with everyone on a platform that took a single click, unlike SoundCloud.

I will post each song with a little note about what it meant to me until I reach the final hidden track.
I hope you all enjoy!

I based this intro on the opening scenes of Quinten Tarantino’s
True Romance.
If you haven’t seen this movie, WATCH IT!

I feel that no matter our circumstances, no matter our past, we have the ability to create anew if we dare to. No matter how shitty things might seem, that’s the way it goes. But never forget, it goes the other way too!!!



Be Still My Heart: CHIEF <3


There is this man, let me tell you of him
His presence will grip you, be it, elated or grim
He will pull you close, like gravity, pure physics
His outlook on the world is truly intrinsic

He is holding a chip, heavy upon his shoulder
The monkey on his back brings him down like a boulder
His angst is typical, his addiction so simple
He wants to change the world, loves deeply his sister

He is blossoming right now, like an unfolding fern
Soaking up life lessons, harnessing like CERN
He will bless us all with the energy he’s been absorbing
A nuclear presence with a shock wave of healing

I hope this day comes before I am gone
If it doesn’t, then, at least, he has this poem
Chief Bushnell, My dear friend Jon
It doesn’t matter your name, or what continent you live on

You hold the key, inside of your soul
To reach humanity, You need to know
Your heart is deep, your brain it floats
You are one in a billion, of inherent souls

So follow your heart & mind your head
Know that you already, granted my wish
You are the feather that flew into my life
An angel who gifted me, with pure love & joy

I miss this beautiful creature so much! I am elated he has begun Vlogging so I can catch up with him daily even though he is across the pond. Thank heavens we live in the future and are granted such privileges! If you need a videographer, video editor, a magical voice, or  pure uninhibited inspiration: look no further! ❤
Facebook · https://Facebook.com/chiefvideos
Instagram · https://instagram.com/chiefvideos
Twitter · https://twitter.com/chiefvideos
Tumblr · http://chiefvideos.tumblr.com



Something More…

There is a voice in my head that screams in a whisper, “HOLD BACK!”
A piece of me wants nothing more than to listen to this dialect
The rest of me is belligerently vibrant with coy flagrancy
I am a woman birthed from an era between generations
disobeying symmetry
I am an anomaly, singularity, within a paradox of eternities
I am a cell multiplying
Born from the separation of others who held tight
I am not alone
Black hole, ocean tide, daily life
I am whole
Guided by stars, earth, water, fire, universally
Winded by humanity
Clouds comforting my soul
Welcoming the beginning and end


My sister, Emme, is so beautiful!

Emme Stay

This picture reminds me of us singing Stay at the top of our lungs!

We both always wanted to play the bad sister. We used to take turns while singing this song to each other when we were younger. Soon after, we learned that art truly does mimic life and vice versa.
We also learned that history might not repeat itself, but it sure does echo and rhyme its truth.
I am so grateful you stayed! I wouldn’t be who I am today if you hadn’t pulled through.
I also couldn’t have pulled myself through everything that came after your survival- without YOU!  

Thank you for being my sister! Thank you for being so miraculous! ❤

Hurt worse than withdrawal!


I have loved Phil Collins since before I can remember. My mother told me stories of when I was a child standing up wildly in her car (praying I would sit since there were no car seats then) telling anyone daring to sing along to his music to “keep mum!” That is the polite British way that American brats of two or three years old spout off as, “SHUT UP!” or if an adult today: “Fuck You! This is my Jam!”
No matter my age or origin I still feel ownership over the love I felt and still feel for my idols. I listened to this song mourning David Bowie, and it brought me back to mourning my mother all over again.
I hate my mother for so many reasons and still wish she were here.
I wonder if when she passed on to wherever there might be that she looked back in remorse or if “care” exists in afterlife? It seldom seems to here.

I wonder if she feels guilt on the other side for sticking needles in her arms and all of her children’s hearts? I bet not since there is nothing left here! I am proof of that empty space.

SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY KNEW ME AT ALL! Still, she left me all alone…

You left US! We begged you so many times while you were alive. Fuck! You left us with addiction and scars that are so deep they are invisible and evade us ever finding a cure for the damage that was done!!!

I fucking hate that I love you so much!

Take a good look at me now- I am left standing here, and you are GONE to let me suffer this world you brought me into alone! It’s what I’ve got to face…

Against all odds, I swear I will make a life for myself with the dust you left my hands grasping after.

I have been trying my best…

LOOK MOM! “NO NEEDLES!” I never once trudged the road you created in your wake.

I love and miss you so fucking much it hurts worse than withdrawals! ❤

Can you see me now? Are you out there?